Writing the research paper was not a very fun process. It was full of doubt and blank stares. I haven’t completed the writing process. This is mostly due to the fact that I do not believe in what I am writing. I cannot write about things that I do not feel strongly for. A lot of students can bull shit their way to a paper but I am not one of them. I have gone through the writing stages half-heartedly and this has made it unenjoyable.
Inquiry is probably the most complete of the Inquiry-ARC phases. Although, I haven’t gathered a basis for what I want to write about and this is making it very difficult to move on to the next stage. I have not found the one question I want to answer about rites of passage. I also feel stuck since I have already chosen my articles that are only slightly related. I think my goal for this essay was to easily slip by without much work but I have found that this has made my time with this paper very difficult. The question I thought I wanted to answer was: Is high school a rite of passage? This, however, does not offer a very interesting article to write. The research I conducted speaks about the topic but does not make many stances against or for it. If I could do it again I would pick a critical analysis article that reflected my interest in rites of passage.
Application is a tough one; the above step is possibly the reason for this since I cannot write about an unformed question. I do not think formulating a thesis is my problem, but coming up with one that is well written and interesting is another issue. The question that I have chosen for my paper is one that I have not completely answered for myself yet. I have waivered and I cannot find my focus: blank stares. It is times like these that I am not sure if I like writing or not. I think I do like being able to convey a point that is comprehendible and uses words and punctuation in a way that creates meaning. On the other hand though, I rather not write and I definitely don’t want to write about a topic I can’t define for myself.
The reflection process has more been about my own “failure” than has it been about analyzing my research. It has been very hard to stop myself from thinking that I am never going to finish this essay and to use my thinking constructively. It hinders my writing. So, guess what I am saying is that I have not gone through much reflection about the paper. Any reflection that I have tried to put to use has been further asking myself about the topic to try to come up with more ideas to write about. I have to “just write” but I quickly have to stop because I simply don’t have anything to write about. Or so I have perceived.
That brings me to the final stage: Communication. Again, I think this stage would be much easier if I had anything to write about. I have been trying to convey ideas that I don’t truly have myself. Ideas that have not had the time generate. To be honest this stage has yet to really happen. I’m stuck thinking about what to write rather than actually writing. I want to just get the writing over with and turn in the damn paper but I can’t even BS my way through. I don’t really want to turn in a crap essay but I have let this drag on far too long, that it has begun to drag on me. I’m draggin’ and would like to start walking again.
Through these processes I have discovered that a basic idea of what to write is most important. Once I have an understanding of the topic then I can gather my research. I cannot start the communication phase until I have all other phases are complete.
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