Visual Reflection of the Progression of My Writing Process

My writing used to be chaotic and unplanned.  Through this class I have gained confidence in writing because I take more time to plan.  When I didn't plan my work I would get frustrated because I would want the writing to be perfect from the very beginning.  This is ridiculous since writing is never perfect.  Even after all the editing and planning.  However, this does not mean you cannot gather meaning from it.

You Have a Right to Choose Your Rite

Society needs to stop being the individual’s main focus.  Society members value how they are deemed by their peers more than their own values that they have found meaning in.  These members of society must remember that what they believe is more important than what their society believes.  Individuals look outside of themselves for acceptance and guidance but rites of passage in our society, however, have yet to be defined, or have new definitions.  Rites of passage in the United States have more focus on the individual than on society’s views.  Of course, there are rites of starting a career, having a family, making a lot of money, etc., but these rites truly have no meaning unless the individual gives them some.  Individuals have allowed society to govern their lives with these rites because they blindly make decisions based on how others will think of their decisions.  Modern society has given individuals power to choose what life means to them and what rites of passage they can take; individuals now need to start choosing for themselves.

Society will always have its overarching, very general rules.  High school, for instance, is seen as the only true rite of passage in our society.  No other ceremony is so wide spread than the high school graduation.  Students don’t really take much from the graduation though.  My own observations indicate that high school does not seem very important to high school students and does not graduate them to adulthood because the students themselves are not recognizing their transformation.  Vivienne Collinson and Lynn Hoffman studied high school students to determine the success of secondary education in the United States and stated, “that American high school classes continue to be unsuccessful and boring to students” (2).  However, what does make students feel more adult is the ability to drive, making friends, and the social responsibility high school culture binds students to.   These are the activities students believe to be important.  In this case society has allowed for students to choose whether graduating from high school is important or if driving a car is more important to them. 

In the Maasai culture, meaning to the initiation of adolescence to adulthood is thrust upon the initiated.  The initiated does not get to choose the meaning of this sacred ceremony and if he tried, he would be shunned from society.  In “The Initiation of a Maasai Warrior,” Saitoti’s father describes to him what the meaning of the circumcision ceremony is.  His father states, that “[t]here is a deeper meaning in all of this.  Circumcision means a break between childhood and adulthood” (Saitoti 139).  Saitoti may believe in this meaning as does his father, but the meaning can only be true if the initiated believes in it.  In this particular culture, if Saitoti had not “believed,” and as a consequence flinched as the knife cut through his foreskin, his family “would be spat upon and even beaten” (Saitoti 140).  He would forever be embarrassed; this sounds as if he is forced into “believing” this rite is life changing.  Unlike the Maasai adolescents, our high school students take glee in their small rites and choose them for themselves.

“Makes Me Wanna Holler” is an excellent example of an American individual choosing for himself what he wants to be.  Nathan McCall finds meaning in his life within the confounds of prison.  McCall describes his observations of an inmate who was well respected, “[i]t amazed me to see how much the so-called tough cats respected Jim” (238).  He goes on to describe what made Jim so dominant, “I figured out that the characteristics that made [Jim] so widely respected had little to do with how he looked; instead, it was his manly demeanor…  Jim didn’t have to make a rep for himself as a thumper.  He could whip a man with his sharp mind and choice of words far more thoroughly” (McCall 239).   Jim, and later Nathan, chose to escape the view of their jailhouse culture.  McCall explains, “I and everybody else I knew had associated manhood with physical dominance” but he and Jim found better meaning for themselves as “progressive,” witty men (239).  They even went on to prove that meaning to other inmates that were “baad cats” on the outside.  Because he takes control of his own rite of passage, McCall goes on to become a healthy adult; after being paroled he goes to college and finds a career in writing for the Washington Post.

Nathan McCall chose to go against the status quo of jailhouse culture but an example from Tim O’Brien suggests that one does not always need to decide against what his society tells him is right to make an individual choice.  In the story “On the Rainy River,” O’Brien is faced with the terrible decision to follow society’s instructions of answering his draft notice or running away from this fate to Canada.  At the end of the piece, O’Brien explains how difficult it was to take the dive toward Canada from the Rainy River – just twenty yards off the Canadian shore.  He struggles with his decision and feels as though everyone is watching him.  He states, “[a]ll those eyes on me – the town, the whole universe – and I couldn’t risk the embarrassment” (O’Brien 187).  He fails to make the jump but he does make the decision for himself.  Even though it is his embarrassment from society that keeps him on the boat, he wrestles with the decision for a long time and proves that he alone made the decision.  That day Tim O’Brien took a rite of passage and had become a man, not because he went to war, but because he makes a very big decision that impacts the rest of his life and the life of many others.

Society and individuals do not only define the rites for the transformations into adulthood, however.  Many believe that society over steps its bounds when it demands a say in the way we die.  One of these people is Melvin I. Urofsky who writes of “Two Scenes from a Hospital.”  Urofsky chooses his examples wisely in an effort to show that only the individual should have the right to define the way she dies.  In both scenes, doctors and hospitals take advantage of their authority to either keep a patient alive against his and his family’s will or try to disconnect a patient from life support against her and her husband’s will.  Urofsky explains, “the key issue is that of who decides what is best for a terminally ill person” (365).  Certainly though, we should not allow society to decide our ultimate fate.  Why should we?  Urofsky’s examples show that if given the right, society will define our entire fates, but we must believe that we have our own will to decide our own fate.  Why else live?

In death we face the ultimate rite of passage into the void of the unknown.  Death is possibly the most important rite we have.  Norman Cousins shows the value of deciding one’s own fate in his essay “The Right to Die.”  In this example Cousins explains, that “an important aspect of human uniqueness is the power of free will” (371).  Dr. Henry Van Dusen and his wife take their own lives in their own free will.  Cousins states, “Dr. Van Dusen had been president of Union Theological Seminary… He enjoyed world status as a spiritual leader.  News of self-inflicted death of the Van Dusens, therefore, was profoundly disturbing to all those who attach a moral stigma to suicide and regard it as a violation of God’s laws” (371).  As Dr. Van Dusen was religious leader, it was a surprise that he had taken his own life, but why?  Why shouldn’t he be able to make his own choice of death because he belongs to a society that is so against suicide?  Van Dusen practiced his free will and chose his own fate.  This is nobler than blindly following the rules of an entity that you may not agree with.  In a society that is pro freedom and independence we do not have to abide by all the guidelines that are set in place.

Instead, we must demonstrate our individuality with our choices, choices that no one else can make for us.  We must decide our own way through life by choosing what transformations we go through.  Rites of passage mean nothing without the individual.  Individuals place meaning on their rites and recognize their own transformations before society can even judge.  Throughout our lives, society has given us the right to choose our own rites of passage.  Society will be critical of any decision we make but that cannot stop us from choosing what we believe to be right.  Individuals will no longer allow society to govern their lives and decide their fates.  Our society supports free will and so should the individual.  We decide the meaning of our lives.

Works Cited

Collinson, Vivienne, and Lynn M. Hoffman. "High School As A Rite Of Passage For Social And Intellectual Development." Proc. of Annual Meeting of the American Educational Research Association, April 1998, San Diego, CA: ERIC. Web. 14 July 2013.

Cousins, Norman. “The Right to Die.” Rae and Fraga 371-372.

McCall, Nathan. “Makes Me Wanna Holler.” Rae and Fraga 235-242.

O’Brien, Tim. “On the Rainy River.” Rae and Fraga 177-188.

Rae, Judie and Catherine Fraga, eds. Rites of Passage: A Thematic Reader. USA: Michael Rosenberg, 2002. Print.

Saitoti, Tepilit Ole. “The Initiation of a Maasai Warrior.” Rae and Fraga 139-147.

Urofsky, Melvin I. “Two Scenes from a Hospital.” Rae and Fraga 360-366.

Reflection on Hell

Writing the research paper was not a very fun process.  It was full of doubt and blank stares.  I haven’t completed the writing process.  This is mostly due to the fact that I do not believe in what I am writing.  I cannot write about things that I do not feel strongly for.  A lot of students can bull shit their way to a paper but I am not one of them.  I have gone through the writing stages half-heartedly and this has made it unenjoyable.

Inquiry is probably the most complete of the Inquiry-ARC phases.  Although, I haven’t gathered a basis for what I want to write about and this is making it very difficult to move on to the next stage.  I have not found the one question I want to answer about rites of passage.  I also feel stuck since I have already chosen my articles that are only slightly related.  I think my goal for this essay was to easily slip by without much work but I have found that this has made my time with this paper very difficult.  The question I thought I wanted to answer was: Is high school a rite of passage?  This, however, does not offer a very interesting article to write.  The research I conducted speaks about the topic but does not make many stances against or for it.  If I could do it again I would pick a critical analysis article that reflected my interest in rites of passage.

Application is a tough one; the above step is possibly the reason for this since I cannot write about an unformed question.  I do not think formulating a thesis is my problem, but coming up with one that is well written and interesting is another issue.  The question that I have chosen for my paper is one that I have not completely answered for myself yet.  I have waivered and I cannot find my focus: blank stares.  It is times like these that I am not sure if I like writing or not.  I think I do like being able to convey a point that is comprehendible and uses words and punctuation in a way that creates meaning.  On the other hand though, I rather not write and I definitely don’t want to write about a topic I can’t define for myself.

The reflection process has more been about my own “failure” than has it been about analyzing my research.  It has been very hard to stop myself from thinking that I am never going to finish this essay and to use my thinking constructively.  It hinders my writing.  So, guess what I am saying is that I have not gone through much reflection about the paper.  Any reflection that I have tried to put to use has been further asking myself about the topic to try to come up with more ideas to write about.  I have to “just write” but I quickly have to stop because I simply don’t have anything to write about.  Or so I have perceived.

That brings me to the final stage: Communication.  Again, I think this stage would be much easier if I had anything to write about.  I have been trying to convey ideas that I don’t truly have myself.  Ideas that have not had the time generate.  To be honest this stage has yet to really happen.  I’m stuck thinking about what to write rather than actually writing.  I want to just get the writing over with and turn in the damn paper but I can’t even BS my way through.  I don’t really want to turn in a crap essay but I have let this drag on far too long, that it has begun to drag on me.  I’m draggin’ and would like to start walking again.

Through these processes I have discovered that a basic idea of what to write is most important.  Once I have an understanding of the topic then I can gather my research.  I cannot start the communication phase until I have all other phases are complete.

Annotated Bibliography

Collinson, Vivienne, and Lynn M. Hoffman. "High School As A Rite Of Passage For Social And Intellectual Development." Proc. of Annual Meeting of the American Educational Research Association, April 1998, San Diego, CA: ERIC. Web. 24 June 2013.

This is a study of high school students in which the authors argue American high schools do not engage students and are unsuccessful because the classes separate the social and academic aspect of developing toward adulthood.  I will use this information to argue that high schools need to work on preparing adolescents for adulthood.  The article calls for the United States to reform our secondary education by responsibly, radically rethinking the system.

Colozza, Jenna. “Growing up without really growing up.” timesunion.com. Hearst Newspapers, 7 Nov. 2012. Web. 22 June 2013.

Colozza writes an editorial about how she is not sure whether adolescence is about growing up to become more responsible or enjoying the freedom which is given them.  She makes inferences from personal observations about she notices students like to live in the moment but cannot find much meaning in their life.  Her first hand experiences, and mine, will offer a good basis for an argument that high school is or isn’t a rite of passage.

Fletcher, Jason M. "Social Multipliers In Sexual Initiation Decisions Among U.S. High School Students." Demography 44.2 (2007): 373-388. Academic Search Complete. Web. 24 June 2013.

This is a study to determine the many types of social influences on high school student to decide to have sex.  Sex is important step in becoming an adult and many have it in high school.  The study begins when students are in eighth grade so the influences from pre-adolescence are not tested in this study.  My paper will only deal with high school rites of passage so this will not be a problem.

Hoffman, Lynn. “Why High Schools Don’t Change: What Students and Their Yearbooks Tell Us.” The High School Journal 86.2 (2002-2003): 22-37. Academic Search Complete. Web. 13 June 2013.

This article deals with yearbook students only.  This is limiting for my research paper but the study conducted by Hoffman still does a great job at defining what rites of passage are included in high school and what students care about during their attendance to this establishment.  Hoffman finds that students care most of all for other students as both acquaintances and friends.  Hoffman states that adults must first understand high school students in order to reform the high school.

Kessler, Rachael. "Initiation--Saying Good-Bye To Childhood."Educational Leadership 57.4 (2000): 30-33. ERIC. Web. 24 June 2013.

Rachael Kessler calls for programs in which students can participate in rites of passage from childhood to adulthood.  These programs, that would be a part of the schools, are needed because “[p]ositive rites of passage for young people are sorely lacking in today’s society.”  Kessler defines what is needed in school-based rites of passage which I will base my conclusion from.  It will allow me to determine whether high school is a rite of passage and if students graduate as adults. 

Is High School a Rite of Passage?

High school is thought of as preparation for life for adolescents.  If students plan on going to higher education, high school is meant to prepare them for at least four more years of tough schooling.  If students plan on going straight to the workforce, high school must also prepare them for the responsibilities of having a job and managing money.  Are high school student actually ready for life after secondary education?  Are high school graduates already adults?   High school is the American rite but struggles to be a complete rite of passage that graduates adolescents to adulthood.

Adults are recognized by society for their maturity and responsibility and independence – responsibility and independence being the determining factors as to whether one is adult or not.  According to Lynn Hoffman and Vivienne Collinson, who studied high school students to determine the success of secondary education in the United States, “students [consider] responsibility synonymous with adulthood.”  They continue to state that the students “[equate] responsibility with putting time and effort into worthwhile endeavors” (Collinson 12).  Responsible adults have jobs and/or careers, support themselves, support families, and put effort into all the aspects of their lives.  These traits are also what are found in independent people.  An independent adult is one that is not dependent on parents any longer.  Thus uses his or her responsibility to become independent.

Students gain independence in a number of ways.  Hoffman, in her study of the high school experience through the eyes of yearbook students, explains another study done by Chang.  Chang states that there are “several markers of independence [among high school students] … including employment, fundraising, turning sixteen, driving, dependence on peers, and the ultimate marker, moving away from home” (Hoffman 27).  Most high school students do not move away from home but the majority them do drive their first cars and get their first jobs.  These experiences are aspects of the greater high school experience but does high school really have anything to do with them.  The experiences would most likely happen without any high school at all.  High school does, however, provide the location for students to meet others their age.

Students’ interactions with one another become most important to them during their time in the high school experience.  Hoffman, in her study of the high school experience through the eyes of yearbook students, shows evidence for this important quality high school gives the students.  She states, “[s]tudents repeatedly indicated that being with, interacting with, and seeing friends and acquaintances on a daily basis in and out of school were critical components of their high school experience” (Hoffman 26).  This experience is a small rite of passage to these students because it shows the value of working with others, virtually unavoidable in today’s society, and creates a sense of community for the students.  Students are recognized by their peers for what they have done and what accomplishments they might have made.

Social influence is also a sign of independence.  Jason Fletcher, who studied the choice to have sex among teens based on social ties, describes that “measures of [social] norms for sexual behavior” are “important predictors of sexual initiation” (Fletcher 374).  This means that teens in high school choose to have sex because it is the normal thing to do in their social environment, creating independence through dependence on peers.  It would be silly to suggest that sex at a young age is always a good idea, but there is no doubting the way sex can distances teens from their parents – creating more independence.

However, high school fails to create a clear definition of adulthood.  Students graduate ill-prepared for life ahead of them and continue to struggle finding themselves as adults living in our society.  Rachael Kessler wrote an article calling for rites of passage programs to be inserted in school curriculums across the country.  She compares future “school-based rite of passage” with the rituals and initiations of cultures around the world stating the passage young people take are summarized into these steps: “young people become conscious about the irrevocable transitions they’re undergoing; are given tools for making transitions and separations; are initiated into the new capacities required for their next step; and are acknowledged by the community of adults, as well as by their peers, for their courage and strength in taking that step” (Kessler 31).  Is homework what makes teens responsible?  Homework is certainly not a necessary tool “for making transitions and separations”; it does give students the responsibility to complete and turn in their homework but students do not take it seriously because they know it does not affect more than them.  High school also lacks in the acknowledgement from adults: teachers in school only have the duty of lecturing, administering tests, and recording grades.

High schools themselves have been “graded” and analyzed just as much as their students.  Reforming education in the United States has been a hot topic as of late.  Those interested in the matter should ask themselves what outcome they want from secondary education.  Jenna Colozza, an eighteen year old senior in high school, wrote an editorial blog post about her confusion as to whether she was adult or not.  She wonders “how long I can stay this way – how much longer can I be a kid but still have the responsibilities of an adult?” (Colozza).  The “responsibilities” Colozza speaks of consist of driving, turning in assignments, a list of don’t-do’s – don’t drink alcohol or do drugs, don’t run in the halls, don’t bully others – and treat teachers with respect no matter what.  Society still thinks of high school students as kids though and expects that they will break the rules set in front of them.  Colozza demonstrates the frustration most high school students and graduates have: stuck between the delights of childhood and the overwhelming responsibility of adulthood.

Kessler defines what really works.  She describes a ceremony where high school seniors are each recognized for their achievement through a three week retreat.  During the ceremony teachers speak to every one of the students in a setting in front of their peers, parents, community members, and elders about the growth they have seen in these students (Kessler 32).  The big difference between this ceremony and a traditional high school setting is that students do not have to excel academically to be recognized for growth they have made.  Even when students are congratulated for academic achievement it is often blow off as just another part of high school.  Everyone in the community must publically recognize all of these students in order for students to feel accomplished.

High school freshman have a big change in front of them.  They will endure many relationships with peers and will benefit and grow from both the successful and unsuccessful ones.  These students, however, will not all be recognized for the great achievement they have made in their growth toward adulthood.  The status quo of the traditional high school must change to account for this loss.  High schools can change but only with the help of the community.  Students must be supported by their community and high school in order to see their transformation to adulthood and to continue growing into responsible, independent adults.

Works Cited

Collinson, Vivienne, and Lynn M. Hoffman. "High School As A Rite Of Passage For Social And Intellectual Development." Proc. of Annual Meeting of the American Educational Research Association, April 1998, San Diego, CA: ERIC. Web. 24 June 2013.

Colozza, Jenna. “Growing up without really growing up.” timesunion.com. Hearst Newspapers, 7 Nov. 2012. Web. 22 June 2013.

Fletcher, Jason M. "Social Multipliers In Sexual Initiation Decisions Among U.S. High School Students." Demography 44.2 (2007): 373-388. Academic Search Complete. Web. 24 June 2013.

Hoffman, Lynn. “Why High Schools Don’t Change: What Students and Their Yearbooks Tell Us.” The High School Journal 86.2 (2002-2003): 22-37. Academic Search Complete. Web. 13 June 2013.

Kessler, Rachael. "Initiation--Saying Good-Bye To Childhood."Educational Leadership 57.4 (2000): 30-33. ERIC. Web. 24 June 2013.

Rites of Passage of a High School Student: A Critical Analysis of Secondary Education Study

High school is a time for adolescents to mature.  Students that attend gather their first glimpse of adulthood and experience rites of passage.  Since secondary education already houses an initiation for students, any reform attempt has proven difficult.  High school may never change.

 In Lynn M. Hoffman’s “Why High Schools Don’t Change: What Students and Their Yearbooks Tell Us” a study is conducted by following “yearbook students from five high schools” within one “large suburban school system” (Hoffman 22).  The students were asked questions to find what was most important and “memorable to them throughout their high school experience” (Hoffman 22).  Yearbooks were also analyzed.  The purpose of the study was to examine “how students use their high school experiences…to complete the work of their change in status from children to young adults” (Hoffman 25).  Hoffman designed the study to show evidence for the claims made by other scientists and researchers who studied secondary education and rites of passage.  This article uses an academic tone to discuss ideas of high school rites of passage and record data from Hoffman’s study.

The article begins with a series of topics such as: “The Immutable Nature of the High School,” “Support for the Status Quo,” “How Adolescent Ethos, Rites of Passage, and the High School Are Intertwined,” “Rites of Intensification,” and “The High School Yearbook.”  These topics introduce the reader to Hoffman’s study by describing ideas from other researchers’ studies.  For example, within the section “Rites of Intensification” Hoffman writes, “Chapple and Coon (1942) suggest that rites of passage are organized around individuals while rites of intensification are centered around groups” (Hoffman 25).  She later uses these studies as a basis for analyzing her findings from the high school yearbook students.  Hoffman then describes the purpose or thesis of her study in which she states many questions the study was designed to answer.  The questions have to do with high school yearbooks and the students who write them, as well as analysis to support the claims of the researchers Hoffman has followed throughout the article.

After her introduction, Hoffman describes the methodology behind her research.  The “Research Methodology” section is one the few areas she records quantitative data.  For instance, she describes the diversity of the schools used in the study by the range of sizes, percentages of students on free or reduced lunch, and percentages of seniors with plans to attend a four-year college.  She also describes the yearbook students whom participated in the study as “predominately female (from 67% to 95% of each yearbook class; primarily of junior and senior class status (from 54% to 100%), and White (from 78% to 95%)” (Hoffman 26).  Hoffman also verifies the assumptions she made during her research in this section, all of which are from previous researchers.  She then moves into the results of her study, again breaking each idea or topic into its own section like the following: “The Importance of Friends,” “Getting Along,” “Being Involved,” “Being Independent,” “Rites of Passage and Intensification High School As A Four Year Rite of Passage,” and “The Absence of Academics.”  Most of these topics are elements of a larger idea described by Chang in his research, which “served as the framework for” Hoffman’s study, coined adolescent ethos (Hoffman 34).  Hoffman defines the term as such: “the process of fulfilling their developmental needs” (Hoffman 35).

The results from Hoffman’s work show that from the time students enter high school as freshman they “are working at growing up” (Hoffman 35).  She suggests, “[t]he landscape of the high school years is dotted with rites of intensification and smaller rites of passage that mark the transition of seasonal activities and movement from one grade to the next” (Hoffman 35).  The students in the study prioritize friendship but also value independence and being involved.  Hoffman explains that students value not only close friends but acquaintances as well.  She records, “[s]tudents noted that just having lots of age mates around them on a daily basis was very satisfying to them” (Hoffman 26).  Hoffman’s claims are all supported by her research of others’ studies or the data collected from her own study.  Interviews with students and observations of yearbooks are recalled throughout the results section of the article.  The use of scientific evidence makes sense given Hoffman’s background.

Lynn M. Hoffman is a Doctor of Education with a focus in school administration, high school culture, and rites of passage.  Hoffman is a professor of a large range of education topics at Bucknell University (Education).  She is deeply invested in research having to do with the high school experience and how it constitutes as a rite of passage.  Her article is published in the High School Journal, an academic journal focused on the field of secondary education (Project MUSE).  Readers of the High School Journal are likely students pursuing a career in studying or teaching high school or professors that are continuing their research in the field.  This explains the objective, academic nature of the article.  The article has a structure of a research paper to make all data and conclusions clear.  The language in the piece is also not hard to understand, and all terms are professional.  However, sentences are long and one must be invested in Hoffman’s research in order to pay attention.  The article is a scientific study that provides facts and not opinions.  These facts also must have a plethora of evidence to back them up.

“Why High Schools Don’t Change: What Students and Their Yearbooks Tell Us” ends with a section entitled “Summary”.  In this section Hoffman discusses her study as a whole starting with her results and ending with a question for the reader to think about.  She states, “[a] lack of understanding on the part of adults about what adolescents believe is important in their life preparation may further ensure that the traditional high school program remains entrenched in spite of efforts to reinvent it” (Hoffman 36).  She makes no argument for whether or not schools should be reformed; she only suggests that her research shows evidence for why high schools stay the way they are.

Works Cited

Education. Dept. home page. Bucknell University. Web. 14 June 2013. <http://www.bucknell.edu/x62343.xml>

Hoffman, Lynn. “Why High Schools Don’t Change: What Students and Their Yearbooks Tell Us.” The High School Journal 86.2 (2002-2003): 22-37. Academic Search Complete. Web. 13 June 2013.

Project MUSE. The High School Journal. Web. 15 June 2013. <http://muse.jhu.edu/journals/hsj/>

Rollercoaster to Independence

Band.  Not exactly everyone’s idea of cool.  I absolutely loved it though, in middle school anyway.  In middle school, band was pretty cool but stage band was the cream of the crop.  Even though stage band had extra practices and had the pressure of being looked up to, we got to play the best music.  Fun jazz songs like Proud Mary and the Theme from Shaft were usually much more entertaining than the usual band songs.  Stage band comprised of both 7^th and 8^th graders; it was not common for 7^th graders to even see 8^th graders during the school day.  This made stage band especially cool but also added pressure to perform well.  By far the best thing about stage band was the performance at Dollywood, an amusement park a few hours away from my middle school.  The trip was the first time I was away from my parents by more than a few miles.  It gave me freedom and full time with friends, and I strengthened my relationship with my peers, my generation.  This trip was a rite of passage.

First step, make it into stage band.  This wasn’t hard.  I was better than most of the students playing trombone.  When I was accepted, it was an achievement, but not one I was extremely proud of.  The harder part of stage band was doing well in practices.  This is when I, a 7^th grader, placed in a band with the 8^th graders.  I went from third chair trombone in the normal band to last chair in stage band.  I was self-conscious to play in this setting by myself.  The band instructor, when fed up with how crapily we were playing, often demanded that each of us, one by one, play a section.  This was embarrassing since stage band music is usually more difficult than band music, which I excelled in.  Sometimes I would stumble on the notes and I felt like the weakest link.  All I needed was more practice.  We got plenty of it, and by the time it all clicked together, I was having a lot of fun.  This was not the toughest hurdle I had to leap, however.

My mother was.  I had to get permission from Mom and, of course, her money.  I had no money to speak of, and any money that I may have had was not at my discretion to spend on whatever I wanted.  The first day I found out about the trip, I begged my mother to let me go.  I wasn’t even able to go yet, since the trip I had heard about was before I had even made it into stage band.  I was a full year ahead.  I warned her, “I AM going on this trip,” trying to show my “power” over her.  It gave me great pleasure that after a year of reminding her, I had her permission to go to Dollywood.  I had won!  I felt that I had control over her.  I fought through persistence and triumphed.

A few months later we boarded the bus.  We had been practicing the weeks before in preparation for the performance.  I don’t think the performance was at the forefront of most of our minds.  We were excited to be away from family and surrounded by friends.  On the bus everyone sat as far as they could from the front of the bus.  The front was where all the chaperones and teachers sat, the adults.  Separation was key.  No one our age wanted to mingle with old people.  We wanted to have fun with our own generation, shape our own rite of passage with each other.

As we arrived at Dollywood our teacher was lecturing us, no, more like warning us to behave and be professional during the performance.  I stepped out of the warm bus onto a chilly parking lot; it was late fall.  I anticipated a small crowd to gather while we were playing, but there wasn’t anyone.  We took a short walk to the entrance and we set up just within the parks limits.  We began to play.  Midway through the first song our first listener stood in front of us.  She probably thought it was cute that a group of young middle schoolers were struggling to keep a beat.  It was getting cold and we were all distracted.  We had never played outside the comfort of our own school, and we couldn’t help but think about the near future where we would be free to roam about Dollywood.  We finished up our last song and our instructor congratulated us.  We packed up our instruments and chairs and stands as fast as we could.

Once everything was packed and into the bus, some of us started to sprint toward the entrance of the theme park.  Our instructor had to reel us back in to lay out the rules.  There were always rules.  Only when we were not with any of the chaperones would we feel freedom.  She paused for a couple seconds, messing with us.  Then, “OK, go on.”  We all sprinted as fast as we could.  I didn’t even know where I was going since I had never been to Dollywood before.  Somehow we all ended up at the Tennessee Tornado, my first rollercoaster.  I slowed my run as I approached the contraption.  I was admittedly scared.  The last time I had even been to a carnival was when I was seven and that time I had wet myself with fear.  This time though, I was determined to conquer this fear.  This time there was more excitement mixed in with the fear, and I knew I was about to have a great, fun time.  At that moment I had graduated from the scared little kid not able to ride rollercoasters to the brave 7^th grader that had wrangled a rollercoaster and used it as his enjoyment.

Whether one thinks band is cool or not, we all have our own adventures or rituals that put us through to the next step.  This trip taken with my stage band was just one of the many steps I will take throughout my life.  This journey threw me into situations I had never encountered and showed me a passage to a new independence I had not yet discovered.  I improved my musical ability with practice, was persistent with my mother, spent time away from family, rode in a rollercoaster and enjoyed time amongst friends.  All of these proved that I was a maturing human being to both myself and my peers.